Anxious me in distress, why only me ?????? Denunciating divinity, self critical with exasperated thoughts I was desperately trying to catch a nap.It was a lingering night and dawn nowhere in sight.Experiencing these tumultuous moments after a long gap, as a matter of fact I do not even recall last such mishap.My life had been pretty Hunky-dory till the reports were given to me by Doctors.And now this fretful news.Many dreadful scenes flashed like a movie through my mind.Phew !!!!!! How can I forget those distressing times of my life in the last days of August.I just wanted the agitated mind to go into tranquility.
Next morning with jittery erratic thoughts in mind, faking calm and composed, walking a tightrope on stairs of the hospital, was still expecting the lenient pronunciation from the panel of Oncologists.After signing in to the Onco ward, there was no space to sit, completely occupied lounge,could not believe that Cancer affects this magnitude of people from all walks of life.
Finally my name was called after four hours of wait. During all these duration me and Anupama hardly conversed. She was busy in chanting and I submerged in deep thoughts looking at peoples faces trying to decipher the pain and agony of those around me.Now I was there in front of Dr Advani a last patient so eagerly awaiting this moment.Show me the reports he said nonchalantly. He was immersed in plethora of reports and I was looking at his accomplishments and credentials illustrated on the wall.I could not take my eyes off from the Padamshri Award Certificate given by President Pratibha Patil blatantly framed on the wall. I came to know that approximately 200-250 cancer patient consult him every day in different hospitals.Out of curiosity I just asked him does'nt he gets drained out after seeing so many patients.?? "I enjoy because every patient shares his unique life condition" he replied assiduously. " I will be seeing another 35-40 patients till midnight in Sushrut Hospital in Chembur.I was just flabbergasted to know about this aged Oncologist who worked from 8 AM till midnight consulting the patients.
After glancing through the reports, he asked where is the patient? I answered in sheepish tone "Its me", "You don't look like a stage four cancer patient" he said heartily.My heart was pounding for his pronouncement.He assured that medical oncology has remarkably advanced these days and asserted that "things can still be controlled and stabilized." I had a sigh of relief on hearing this.He was articulating about Renal Cell Carcinoma with poorly differentiated Metastasis in Liver, Bone and Lymphnodes. All these words were totally elusive to me but was amused by the fact that I can be now optimistic about my life expectancy.This was a big boost to my disparaged spirit. Now mentally I had to prepare myself for the removal of left Kidney called Nephrectomy Surgery by the weekend.
In this kind of situation majority would have lied down helplessly and and allowed the things to take its own course.At most some may have preferred divine mediation to resolve the crisis.Within narrow circle one feels the master of the fate but in extreme circumstances one ascribes to fate.But my approach to this episode was a little different, I thought to myself that If I am the one who made myself what I am today, then I am the one who will create the 'me' of the future also.To resign to this doom was a farfetched proposition in my queer mind. I subscribed to Ralph Waldo Emerson's quote "The element running through entire nature, which we popularly call Fate, is known to us as limitation. Whatever limits us, we call Fate".Its important to maintain an unbeatable spirit that keeps us in eternal bliss.Its important to maintain strong life force.Swiss philosopher Carl Hilty writes: "Just as the flooding river stirs the soil and enriches the fields, sickness stirs and enriches all people's hearts.One who truly understands illness and endures it is made deeper, stronger and greater, and grasps ideas and beliefs that were incomprehensible before." There are many people around us whose body is healthy but with ailing mind,there are others who despite having ailments exhibit a great life force.In both the cases its own individual's choice.But despite physical and health limitations if one decides not to be bogged down that is definitely a source of encouragement to many others and inspires people around to live with an indomitable spirit.It is possible to be happy despite illness and to lead a life of value creation. There cannot be no better joy than this to spread the exuberance around.
Next morning with jittery erratic thoughts in mind, faking calm and composed, walking a tightrope on stairs of the hospital, was still expecting the lenient pronunciation from the panel of Oncologists.After signing in to the Onco ward, there was no space to sit, completely occupied lounge,could not believe that Cancer affects this magnitude of people from all walks of life.
Finally my name was called after four hours of wait. During all these duration me and Anupama hardly conversed. She was busy in chanting and I submerged in deep thoughts looking at peoples faces trying to decipher the pain and agony of those around me.Now I was there in front of Dr Advani a last patient so eagerly awaiting this moment.Show me the reports he said nonchalantly. He was immersed in plethora of reports and I was looking at his accomplishments and credentials illustrated on the wall.I could not take my eyes off from the Padamshri Award Certificate given by President Pratibha Patil blatantly framed on the wall. I came to know that approximately 200-250 cancer patient consult him every day in different hospitals.Out of curiosity I just asked him does'nt he gets drained out after seeing so many patients.?? "I enjoy because every patient shares his unique life condition" he replied assiduously. " I will be seeing another 35-40 patients till midnight in Sushrut Hospital in Chembur.I was just flabbergasted to know about this aged Oncologist who worked from 8 AM till midnight consulting the patients.
After glancing through the reports, he asked where is the patient? I answered in sheepish tone "Its me", "You don't look like a stage four cancer patient" he said heartily.My heart was pounding for his pronouncement.He assured that medical oncology has remarkably advanced these days and asserted that "things can still be controlled and stabilized." I had a sigh of relief on hearing this.He was articulating about Renal Cell Carcinoma with poorly differentiated Metastasis in Liver, Bone and Lymphnodes. All these words were totally elusive to me but was amused by the fact that I can be now optimistic about my life expectancy.This was a big boost to my disparaged spirit. Now mentally I had to prepare myself for the removal of left Kidney called Nephrectomy Surgery by the weekend.
In this kind of situation majority would have lied down helplessly and and allowed the things to take its own course.At most some may have preferred divine mediation to resolve the crisis.Within narrow circle one feels the master of the fate but in extreme circumstances one ascribes to fate.But my approach to this episode was a little different, I thought to myself that If I am the one who made myself what I am today, then I am the one who will create the 'me' of the future also.To resign to this doom was a farfetched proposition in my queer mind. I subscribed to Ralph Waldo Emerson's quote "The element running through entire nature, which we popularly call Fate, is known to us as limitation. Whatever limits us, we call Fate".Its important to maintain an unbeatable spirit that keeps us in eternal bliss.Its important to maintain strong life force.Swiss philosopher Carl Hilty writes: "Just as the flooding river stirs the soil and enriches the fields, sickness stirs and enriches all people's hearts.One who truly understands illness and endures it is made deeper, stronger and greater, and grasps ideas and beliefs that were incomprehensible before." There are many people around us whose body is healthy but with ailing mind,there are others who despite having ailments exhibit a great life force.In both the cases its own individual's choice.But despite physical and health limitations if one decides not to be bogged down that is definitely a source of encouragement to many others and inspires people around to live with an indomitable spirit.It is possible to be happy despite illness and to lead a life of value creation. There cannot be no better joy than this to spread the exuberance around.
The
element running through entire nature, which we popularly call Fate, is
known to us as limitation. Whatever limits us, we call
Fate.
Read more at http://quotes.dictionary.com/search/fate?page=1#ZKKojJvfgLK5mp60.99Our body and mind has to be in harmony to decipher the healing process.Its an established fact proven by medical scientist's that patients who are depressed with negative thoughts take longer timer for physical recovery than those who undergo treatment with positive attitude.
None of us know what will happen to us next moment that is the reason we must treasure each moment and each day.Going through this grim reality leads to understanding the deeper connotations of life.Its now easier for me to empathize with people in despair and with health suffering.Most of the time this pain is not easily understood by people around.To empathize with people suffering from illness can give a fervent hope like an oasis in parched desert.Illness leads to deep compassion and understanding of patients in debilitated condition.My adversity has enabled me to see things on a broader canvass in a more positive
light, and my definition of good health has changed to live life with grit and resolve in day to day life and contemplating great hope for the future. Read more at http://quotes.dictionary.com/search/fate?page=1#ZKKojJvfgLK5mp60.99Our body and mind has to be in harmony to decipher the healing process.Its an established fact proven by medical scientist's that patients who are depressed with negative thoughts take longer timer for physical recovery than those who undergo treatment with positive attitude.
